Serious question about erection during massage.

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Serious question about erection during massage.

Postby brent1960 on Sun Apr 08, 2007 3:29 pm

I am 47 and have only recently begun to enjoy massage therapy. I will admit that that the reason I never had a massage in the past was “fear of getting an erection” in the presence or either a male or female therapist. I read an article in a mens health magazine that said the fear was common but that it was perfectly normal for men to become erect during massage as it can be a PNS response? So I finally got the nerve to make an appointment at a very upscale place and do a 1 hour Swedish style. I do go totally nude and have been back to the same female therapist about 10 times in the last six months. I am really there for the massage and I do not think of sexual things but when she rubs my palms and my thighs it just happens. I always start on my back and end on my stomach and there is always a little seminal fluid that leaks on the sheets. OK I am really serious here. I am not trying to get turned on and I am always properly draped and my therapist is wonderful and always very professional but I am still kind of embarrassed although she has never said anything so I just do not worry so much about it anymore. I am a very sexual person and the dim lights, soft music and touch just do it for me. Tell me I am not the only one and there are other men out there like me.
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Re: Serious question about erection during massage.

Postby holistichealer on Sun Apr 08, 2007 3:33 pm

brent1960 wrote:I am 47 and have only recently begun to enjoy massage therapy. I will admit that that the reason I never had a massage in the past was “fear of getting an erection” in the presence or either a male or female therapist. I read an article in a mens health magazine that said the fear was common but that it was perfectly normal for men to become erect during massage as it can be a PNS response? So I finally got the nerve to make an appointment at a very upscale place and do a 1 hour Swedish style. I do go totally nude and have been back to the same female therapist about 10 times in the last six months. I am really there for the massage and I do not think of sexual things but when she rubs my palms and my thighs it just happens. I always start on my back and end on my stomach and there is always a little seminal fluid that leaks on the sheets. OK I am really serious here. I am not trying to get turned on and I am always properly draped and my therapist is wonderful and always very professional but I am still kind of embarrassed although she has never said anything so I just do not worry so much about it anymore. I am a very sexual person and the dim lights, soft music and touch just do it for me. Tell me I am not the only one and there are other men out there like me.


Brent,

You are not the only one. It happens to me sometimes depending on my day. My therapist is great too but sometimes I have the same problem. I try to talk to her while she is doing the treatment because it actually helps me to not fear about getting an erection so it does not happen. I think it is a situation of if you are worried about it, it will probably happen. Do not worry I really think it is completly normal. I would not worry but definately try to talk during your treatment, it might help. Good luck.
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Postby HappyKarma on Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:37 pm

No Brent--you are not alone here.It has happened to me several times,as a student and as a client.As a professional therapist providing massage, I never make a big deal of this unless the client gets weird on me mid-session. Massage generally relaxes the entire nervous system,so erections are possible. So don't sweat it! Keep getting massage! I agree with holistichealer,talking during the treatment with your therapist will occupy the brain and keep you present during the session,decreasing the likelyhood of an erection.

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Postby ace88 on Sun Apr 08, 2007 6:42 pm

It's happened to me at certain odd times, but certainly not because I am having sexual thoughts about the therapist or anyone else. One time a new therapist started firing questions at me about my family when it happened, I guess to try to distract me, but I was embarrassed because I knew that she had noticed. I couldn't even go back to her after that. In general though, I assume that therapists are professional and should be able to ignore it as a reaction to increased blood flow and muscle relaxation. It should not be a big deal unless somehow the client acts inappropriately or makes verbal comments that make it inappropriate.
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Postby AnastasiaB on Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:20 pm

Brent,

I was taught in massage school, and have learned from experience, that the more relaxed a man is the more likely he is to NOT maintain that little bit of mental tension that he has been trained to keep to maintain a flaccid penis. In my practice, it's not a problem for me if an erection occurs for a male client UNLESS he proves himself to be unsavory and/or untrustworthy. IF an erection occurs, it is just a normal physiological function of the client's body as far as I am concerned, and, so as not to embarass either of us, I just continue with the massage and say nothing.

Sounds to me like you are behaving like a true gentleman and have the situation under control. Don't worry about it.
J
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Postby jacqueline on Mon Apr 09, 2007 10:01 am

I agree with the above posts..seriously, if a gentleman gets an erection duirng a massage (and they are not being perverted) i just continue with the massage and dont even think about it..
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Postby g245 on Mon Apr 09, 2007 4:58 pm

I always wear tighty whiteys – have never gone nude and doubt I ever will. Last thing I wanta do is expose myself or insinuate that I want anything other than a good deep relaxing massage. Hey, I sometimes get an erection riding my motorcycle, playing golf, mowing the lawn – I have no idea what happens or why – it just does it with no lustful thought or even a remote intention of having sex… and, during a massage – rub my face & forehead – boing, almost automatic – so I wear briefs.

Fluid of any sort is something I’d totally avoid. You ever work with somebody who chewed tobacco? If you really appreciate the MT – I'd wear briefs or wrap a towel around your waist if I were you…
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Postby pueppi on Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:08 am

g245 wrote:Fluid of any sort is something I’d totally avoid. You ever work with somebody who chewed tobacco? If you really appreciate the MT – I'd wear briefs or wrap a towel around your waist if I were you…


THANK YOU!
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Postby Seebs on Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:35 pm

pueppi wrote:
g245 wrote:Fluid of any sort is something I’d totally avoid. You ever work with somebody who chewed tobacco? If you really appreciate the MT – I'd wear briefs or wrap a towel around your waist if I were you…


THANK YOU!


Fluid avoiding = good.
But, pueppi...do you think the best thing is for a man to wear briefs or a towel during a massage?
I totally respect if a man (or woman) decides to leave underwear on during a massage, but I always wonder if he feels like he has to in order to be proper and if I didn't give adequate explanation to let him know it's okay. (Gluteal mucles more easily included in leg routine w/o underwear, particularly boxers.)
So? Is this extra layer specifically for the more, uh, leaky gentlemen? Or are you thanking any male who leaves his underwear on?
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Postby pueppi on Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:44 am

Seebs wrote:But, pueppi...do you think the best thing is for a man to wear briefs or a towel during a massage?

I never said anything of the like. Please don't read anything into my comment as the majority of my clients go 'free' (aka. no underware and I keep them draped).

However, if a client knows they have a fluid problem and they appreciate their MT (as g245 mentioned), then YES, by all means, I think the client would show respect to the the therapist by leaving their underware on.
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Postby melb on Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:45 pm

Seebs wrote:do you think the best thing is for a man to wear briefs or a towel during a massage?
Do people actually wear towels for massage? I've only ever seen it in the movies.
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Postby HairyDog on Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:42 am

Wow, I'm glad this issue is being discussed. Normally I don't get an erection when I get a massage, but the last massage I got, I did. I don't know what was different about it, other than location and therapist...she didn't do anything to cause it, it was all me. I don't think I did anything to encourage it, either. But a towel would have been handy, nuff said about that. :oops:

Any tips? I don't recall thinkng anything in particular, and conjuring up an image of my exstepmother would be counter productive to the massage, I think.

Thanks for the replies so far, and am looking forward to future discussion.
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Postby seekingequanimity on Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:29 am

Ahaa!

A couple of times I have had gentlemen at the spa I work dismantle a somewhat decorative towel tower to wrap a towel around their waist before they got on the table. Leaving me....... :?: perplexed.

Now I get it.

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Postby melb on Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:11 pm

The best proof I've ever heard of that erections can happen regardless of what is going on was a therapist I know that is sooooooo not interested in females. He went and had a massage from a female therapist and it happened, it had absolutely nothing to do with the female therapist, it just happened. He was rather upset about it, and decided he didn't like that modality at all if it was going to move that much energy around that that type of thing happened for him. He told me this quite a few years ago which was very useful to hear at the time because it made me much more comfortable to know that they really really do sometimes just happen.

Back to the original post, I think if you know there is a fluid problem, keep underwear on, not boxers, but something along the lines of g245's tighty whiteys. If you know it is a lot of fluid and you won't be comfortable leaving with the underwear on, take a spare pair.
Where I am, it's actually a legal issue due to the health & safety issues involved - that type of material left behind would make my business an unlicensed brothel. Maybe I've watched too many episodes of CSI, but I have no interest in working in a brothel, licensed or unlicensed.
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Postby g245 on Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:33 pm

I came across this the other day & thought I'd share it.

15 things you don't know about your penis

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).


9. An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.


It's from an article in Mens Health. I think most guys, who participated in high school sports, or were in the military realize this - but I'm not sure if women do. A while back I had a MT throw a heavy blanket over my midsection - I think she must have thought I had an erection. I didn't - I'm in the 21% noted above... that's the reason I wear underwear duing a massage...

But - until I came across the article referenced above, I wasn't quite sure how to explain it.
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Postby jyoti on Sun Jun 17, 2007 3:01 pm

melb wrote:Do people actually wear towels for massage? I've only ever seen it in the movies.


Some of my male clients feel more comfortable with just a towel over the midsection. As long as private areas are covered, I have no problem with a decent-size towel. It is simply draped over them, though...I don't know if this is the same as the towel-wearing seen in movies that has been mentioned, though. :)

Hugs,
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Postby sarah1133 on Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:01 pm

g245 wrote:I came across this the other day & thought I'd share it.

15 things you don't know about your penis

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).


9. An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.


It's from an article in Mens Health. I think most guys, who participated in high school sports, or were in the military realize this - but I'm not sure if women do. A while back I had a MT throw a heavy blanket over my midsection - I think she must have thought I had an erection. I didn't - I'm in the 21% noted above... that's the reason I wear underwear duing a massage...


Thanks for that explanation. A few weeks ago I had a male client in the supine position and, since he was wearing briefs, the sizeable bulge led me to believe that he had an erection. This wasn't the first time I'd had this happen and I know that it's a normal parasympathetic response so I just ignored it. Well, aparently what I thought was an erection was not because then he did get one and it was quite large.

I wasn't sure what to do because it actually got in the way a couple times. Luckily the massage was almost over and I was able to maintain my composure. I felt a little rediculus saying thank you and left the room. I think next time I might put an extra towel over his midsection.

I have to admit I did not ask my manager not t schedule him again.
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Postby EgoMagickian on Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:00 am

I wasn't sure what to do because it actually got in the way a couple times.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with requesting, "Please adjust yourself to the left if you would." and then again when you get to the other side. Or, using the drape to move things out of your way as you undrape a leg.
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Postby randypd on Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:22 pm

Seems to me there are three issues in play here:
1. Arousal when you are a male client.
2. Arousal when you are the practitioner and your client is male.
3. Sexual come-ons when you are the practitioner and your client is male.

As a male and a massage therapist, I've come to learn that arousal happens. Sometimes arousal happens without intent. End of story.

The critical aspect for me is what does my client choose to do with the arousal when it occurs.

Last night, I was doing my patented ab routine and presto!, my client was in an aroused state. His embarrassment was evident by the quality of his voice as he muttered, "I'm so sorry." I continued my work and told him not to worry about it. Soon enough, his attention (and blood) moved elsewhere.

A couple of weeks ago, another male client was in the prone position and started humping the table. First, I laughed to myself - he did look suspiciously like my seven pound poodle when *she* is in heat. Then, I moved the massage to his ankle and waited him out. Once he quit humping the table, I returned to massaging his hamstrings. When I got to his other leg he decided to 'mount' the table again. This time, I sighed audibly and returned to the same ankle as before until he quit. He couldn't help but notice that I had switched legs back to the original 'safe' ankle.

Could I have been more forceful? I'm sure I could have, but I was able to maintain my boundaries and continue the massage without any loss of face for myself or my client. I was prepared to pull out the, "what kind of massage do you think you bargained for, bud?" speech, but my nonverbal communication got my point across.

So that's my two cents...



A related side note:
I am fascinated by the what to do with body fluids portion of this discussion...

I work in San Francisco Castro district and believe it or not, the majority of my client's hop up on the table buck naked on top of the sheet. If I can impart the message that therapeutic massage does not come with a happy ending, I'm doing our profession a service.

In the spirit of choosing my battles wisely, I'm not about to tell my clients, "No, this isn't that kind of massage and you have to cover your dirty bits while I give you a massage." So, that leaves me with my question...what do you do when client's non-aggressive arousal results in a pool of fluid? Do you skip massaging the upper thigh or do you put the draping to double duty for cleanup on aisle two? Like brent1960 said in his original post, I trust that this fluid is not the result of sexual aggression but just human nature. I'd appreciate any suggestions...
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Postby randypd on Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:12 pm

threadkill.

one of my innate talents...
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Postby Spock on Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:27 pm

LOL Mine too. :lol:
My shoulder work is excellent.
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Postby AnastasiaB on Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:12 pm

With regard to the "fluid" discussion: on the exactly 2 occasions that this has occurred in my 11 plus years of practice I quietly handed the gentleman a hand towel with which to clean himself carefully under the sheet, pulled out a small plastic bag for the towel to go into before it hit the laundry, and went on from there. No harm, no foul.

PS the placing it in a plastic bag is a biohazard precaution -- just because................
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Postby Silver on Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:08 pm

Well I am not sure about the "fluid" part of the conversation I just wanted to say that most of the time I use a top sheet and a heavy towel to cover the glutes while they are prone. When I ask them to roll over I just conveniently keep the towel there. I have had compliments from my male clients saying that it made them feel much more comfortable. Just a thought
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Postby Shannon on Sat Sep 29, 2007 12:15 pm

The thread was split because it ventured into a whole new discussion you can find the new one at
http://www.bodyworkonline.com/forum/vie ... highlight=

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Communication Matters

Postby dlangdon on Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:52 am

EgoMagickian wrote:I wasn't sure what to do because it actually got in the way a couple times.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with requesting, "Please adjust yourself to the left if you would." and then again when you get to the other side. Or, using the drape to move things out of your way as you undrape a leg.


I have been forunate to travel and experience many different massage techiques...I really consider myself lucky as massages are one of my passions.

My main concern with things such as body fluids, erections and draping is not to make the therapist uncomfortable or to take her outside her boundaries.

But, having said that, fluids and erections do happen from time to time. It is not entirely a sexual thing.

I had one therapist who it obiviously bothered...in that case I asked if she could stop for a bit and when it was gone we would continue.

A couple of others who seemed to just ignore it (and I felt badly) and one that I have seen for quite sometime (well known and respected) who just works around it...there was no contact...

I would say that it seems more difficult to control the stimulation if you know that the therapist is not openly offended by it...
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