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Postby Ocean on Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:32 am

Just one more that I received yesterday...... :)

(By Dr. Aurelia Louise Jones)

Hello! I am a humble, effervescent liquid. Am I humble? Well... I guess this is debatable. Actually, I am quite proud of myself. Allow me to brag a little.

I fizz, sparkle and bubble my way into the guts of thousands of people all over the world every day. I HAVE MUCH POWER. I can cause masses of humanity to make beelines for snack dispensers in plush, high-rise buildings. I stir men, women and teenagers to dash into their cars late at night to speed to their nearest 24-hour convenience store. In their rush to have me, sometimes they have serious accidents. I motivate others to root through their purses or pockets for the last vestiges of pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters with which they will gladly part in exchange for me. The best thing about me is: I AM ADDICTING!

I am responsible for giving thousands of addicts their daily fixes. This is because I most of the time contain a substance called caffeine and several other toxic substances which is a stimulant.. It stimulates the heart of the people who drink me. As a matter of fact, it makes their hearts beat very fast and makes their nervous systems work like crazy. They feel as though they could take on the world. I tell you...I have OVERWHELMING PERSONAL MAGNETISM.

I am a sneaky double-agent too. I pretend to give people all the good they need because caffeine gives them a "lift". However, a few hours afterward, they come crashing down, get shaky and NEED ME AGAIN....for another pseudo-charge or another "fix". This plays havoc with their hearts and nerves but still, they look to me for relief and assistance. I feel very, very smug because I CALL THE SHOTS!

To give me an appetizing brown tint, I contain "caramel coloring" which has negative genetic effects and is a cancer-causing agent. Most of the time, I have polyethylene glycol as one of my ingredients. Glycol is used as an anti-freeze in automobiles and as an oil solvent. You can well imagine what I do to people's inside. To say the least, it causes DEGENERATION to millions of cells. Also, I often contain Aspartame that causes all kinds of central nervous system diseases, memory lost, blindness and even cause holes in the brain to appear in people and children who drink too much of ME.

The bubbles and fizz with which I potentially burn human insides is caused by my phosphoric acid and carbon dioxide. The phosphorus in the acid upsets the body's calcium-phosphorus ratio and dissolves calcium out of the bones. This can eventually result in OSTEOPOROSIS, a weakening of the skeletal structure which can make one susceptible to broken bones. Also, the phosphorus fights with the hydrochloric acid in human stomachs and renders it ineffective. This promotes indigestion, bloating and gas in many individuals. Carbon dioxide is a waste product exhaled by humans but they ingest it when they drink me.

I offer a selection of three types of sweeteners according to the customers' preference. They are: Saccharin or Aspartame in the diet type and white sugar and corn syrup in my regular drinks. These substances enhance my appeal and come disguised as "good for everyone". However, taste can be very deceiving! Let me explain.

SACCHARIN is an artificial sweetener which has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals. There are warning labels on all my containers. ASPARTAME comes under the brand name NUTRASWEET and has been linked to convulsions, depression, insomnia, irritability, weakness, dizziness, headaches, mood changes and mental retardation, and many other dreadful problems for humans. Even with all this information, I am so powerful and addictive, that they cannot stop "Drinking Me". How proud I am of my powers!


SUGAR and CORN SYRUP can induce both HYPOGLYCEMIA (low blood sugar and HYPERGLYCEMIA (high blood sugar as in diabetes). Studies done at the University of Alabama have shown that when healthy volunteers drank 24 ounces of a sugary cola drink it was very detrimental to their health. The good blood cells which attack harmful bacteria and viruses decreases substantially, thereby, reducing the body's immunity to disease. Sugar gives you a temporary"lift" or burst of energy, then sends you crashing down to a severe fatigue just like caffeine does. This way, I can make you into a real yo-yo. To get another "fix" you have to have more sugary drinks. This pattern exhausts the adrenal glands and leaves a person with a chronic tired feeling. Aren't my powers great, to control people like this?

GORGEOUS! THAT'S WHAT I AM! I come dressed in shiny metal cans in various colors and tints. Sometimes I am silver, sometimes gold, sometimes blue, red, etc. I beckon and dazzle so as humans stroll past me in the supermarket. On a hot day, I am especially attractive and hands reach for cases and cases of me to share with friends at picnics and parties. However, I am very tricky. My thirst-quenching liquid, which is at best a deception, is encased in the aluminum cans and contains traces of this same toxic metal. The acid in the soft drink eats away the aluminum which floats around until it is ingested by the consumer. ALUMINUM is a very toxic substance and builds up in the human body. It has a particular attraction for the brain and has been linked to degenerative senility afflictions such as ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE AND OTHER TYPES OF BONE AND MUSCLE DISEASES. These diseases cause a lot of pain in people's bodies and for which the medical profession has "no known cures". HA! HA! This is funny to me.

Many times humans think they can LOSE WEIGHT by drinking me in the "diet" form. NOT SO! My high sodium content helps them retain water in their bodies and they become bloated. Their kidneys and bladder do not function properly after a long time habit of soft drink intake. The ingredients in me destroy the beneficial flora of the colon, resulting in constipation. This locks the toxins in the body so they cannot be eliminated properly. The blood is not pure and as a result and the cells are weakened in their vitality.

In order to lose weight, fat must be flushed from the cells. The enzymes responsible for aiding the process of fat release are paralyzed when they are poisoned with such substances as me and cannot do their job properly. People DEFEAT THEIR PURPOSE when they try to lose weight by drinking me.

In conclusion, I would like to admit there is not a smidgen of humility in me. I am very EGOTISTICAL! I AM MASTER over much of the decision-making abilities of the human race. HA! HA Even the super stars "health professionals" medical doctors are addicted to me. You don't believe me? That is good for me. Look on school campuses, in city parks, at ball games, in business offices, at street corners, at parties, anywhere and everywhere...there are people who are trying to poison themselves by being so addicted to me. They are being brain-washed to the idea that I am good for them by the people who are making so much money selling me. Those people don't care if people are sick....they don't have to pay the bills. As long as they make their money....everything is O.K. One last word of advice my friend..... Ignorance is bliss.

Dr. Aurelia Louise Jones
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Postby razor on Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:07 pm

Gorgeous. That's what you are. That was interseting...and made me think I'd love to cap off the day with a nice frosty Diet Pepsi. Funny how the mind works.
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Postby hogayoga on Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:41 pm

Great article!
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