Increased Libido

[meridianman]

I started massaging a few months ago and since then my libido has increased dramatically. The intention I take into and keep during the massage is one of healing and tension release. I should state that 90% of my clients are young women.

I don't know if this is the case for me but I have read that when certain chakras are activating one can become more, or less, sexual.

Has anyone experienced this libido increase before?

[StephenCMT]

I'm gonna throw out some random answers based on my experience as a male in the field though I'm sure females can go through this as well from time to time. People may agree with me or disagree, but these are just my thoughts on the matter.

You're a human being. You're a sexual creature. Many things can affect that sexuality. As a fairly new MT, you're going to be experiencing situations you normally wouldn't experience on a regular basis. You'll be putting your hands on other people and making them feel good but you'll be doing it for a living and with multiple people. You'll hear moans, you'll see pleasure on their faces, and you'll have more skin to skin contact (meaning your hands, arms, or maybe feet if you're ashiatsu) than possibly the clients significant others. This can have some different effects:

1) Increased physical activity. Not saying you're a lazy slob but, if you're doing your body mechanics correctly, giving a good massage can be like doing Tai Chi. Increased physical activity can do wonders for the libido.

2) Confidence. The reactions of your clients might give you a huge boost of confidence if you're a people pleasure by nature. Doing what you feel you were born to do can give you that "Me Tarzan! *beats chest*" feeling (LOL) if you haven't been feeling like that lately and that feeling can go straight to your fun stuff.

3) Connection and Old Taboos. I'm in the camp that we're a touch deprived society. I'm not saying everyone should throw Cuddle Parties or anything, but your lifestyle can be affected by the culture your society accepts. And it's gotten worse as I've gotten older in regards to touch.

When I was in high school chorus, the first thing we did as a warm-up was to turn to the right and rub the neck and shoulders of the person in front of us for a couple of minutes. Try asking someone how many schools can get away with that now. LOL Depending on what area you live in, Public Displays of Affection may or may not be looked down upon so there may not have been as much physical connection in your life as you are now getting used to with your new career. And, since our society is touch deprived and we're conditioned to believe too much touch = sex, this could be a natural programmed response in your libido based on how you've been raised. How do I know this theory of mine might have some weight? I now live in a country where there's legal prostitution, people go topless at lakes & beaches, and fully nude at some thermal spas even with small children sitting right next to them (that even had me cringing and feeling icky and I'm still getting used to it), you see nudity in TV commercials about freaking CHEESE and on billboards...yet the sexuality of the general populace here (based on observations of ex-pats) can be downright boring compared to the more "conservative" countries like the US, Britain, etc.

What I'm saying is that your body could be responding to something it's just not used to yet might of been craving even in a non-sexual way, but may be affected by social programming. I can't get a decent burger in this country to save my life and I KNOW when I visit the DC area again, I may just eat myself sick at the nearest Five Guys burger joint. I know they're bad for me when consumed every day, multiple times a day...but what if I was raised that ground beef was the spawn of Satan's Bowels or some nonsense? I'd have this whole guilt-complex that would disturb me yet thrill me since I'm rebelling against a social norm that I really don't believe in deep down.

Anyways, there are my possible answers for you. There are probably more but this post has become a Wall of Text as it is. Whatever you may be feeling at the moment, the way I've stayed legit is to keep this stuff simple. Don't agonize over it. Acknowledge it and move on. Client has a nice (insert body part or characteristic here)? Fine. Acknowledge it to yourself (NOT THE CLIENT), move on, and get back to work. Client's moaning sounds like a 1-900# operator? Acknowledge it to yourself, laugh inwardly, move on, back to work. As far as I'm concerned, whatever you do after work is your business as long as it isn't endangering someone and is with anyone OTHER than one of your clients unless you've already broken the professional relationship and waited the minimum amount of time stated by the rules and regs of yadda, yadda, yadda. Stay professional and all this stuff will just become one of the barely-there trials and tribs of the business.

Good luck!


*Just once, I'd like to type a post without a half-dozen typos...it's a dream of mine...*

[JasonE]

I started massaging a few months ago and since then my libido has increased dramatically. The intention I take into and keep during the massage is one of healing and tension release. I should state that 90% of my clients are young women.

I don't know if this is the case for me but I have read that when certain chakras are activating one can become more, or less, sexual.

Has anyone experienced this libido increase before?

No. Think hard on what Stephen said. Lots of gold in that post.

Get and keep yourself under control or get out of the treatment room.

Never mix this business with your pleasure. No excuses. You are an adult.

What you do reflects on the profession as a whole and male therapists in particular.

[TheseBlessedHands]

Let me begin with this before I respond. I LOVE women!!
When I began massage school and realized that I needed to master my control of my sexual desires, I made a rule that there would be no sexual contact on my massage table. And I started practicing with my wife. In a short time, I was able to see skin and not find any attraction to or stimulation from breasts or butts. I wanted to make it so that I would not be tempted to cross any lines as I worked and I use my wife to test myself. Now a nipple slip or some other accidental exposure does not affect me. Make it your goal to control your libido and not allow your libido to control you!!

[KneadingU]

Woah! Wait a minute... "a nipple slip or some other accidental exposure does not affect me..." Just hold on a sec, have you forgotten something? What if it affects the client? Or how about if it is a penis slip? Would that make a difference? I hope not, because inappropriate thoughts or even "accidental" actions do not belong in a therapeutic massage session.

I am quite familiar with the many and varied aspects of this, oftentimes, confusing topic since I have been a male massage therapist and educator for over 20 years. There are a few things that continue to cause confusion among both clients and therapists and that is their inexperience in the therapeutic properties of touch. Yes, we are sexual beings, and sexual energy is a natural and very powerful force in our everyday lives. But, the important thing that I think needs to be realized is that healing energy and sexual energy can sometimes be confused because they are both very strong vital energies that we all possess. I will give you a personal example:

Early in my career, I had a female client that I was very attracted to. I'm sure you are familiar with what many often call "the right chemistry". Well, with this particular client, I began to feel more and more of a strong sexual attraction to her as the session went on. And it continued to escalate until at one point I realized that I had to change something in my head or I would have to do the appropriate professional thing and end the session with some sort of an excuse of why I couldn't go on.

Since I had, at the time, a considerable amount of training in energy work, I knew I had the skills to turn the energy around. Energy is like a white light that fills the universe, and each living creature can turn that energy into whatever it wants or needs. For example, plants take that energy and use it for photosynthesis. That same energy, we humans can use to bring vitality to our bodies and promote health. But, we can also use that same energy for harm, to take advantage of another human being in a vulnerable situation. This is what sometimes happens to a client during a massage that becomes sexual. And it doesn't matter if there is no physical act that is sexual, just having the sexual thought gives it that energy. And that energy is not therapeutic, it is abusive. So, not wanting to let that sexual energy change the intent of my massage, I decided to utilize that energy by converting it into healing energy.

I did this by changing the level of the energy. A good energy model is the Ayurvedic chakra system. I like to think of them as radio stations that we can all tune into just by changing our focus. Since I was in second center, or chakra number two (creativity & sexuality chakra), I realized that I had to raise my energy level to my fourth chakra (heart and universal love chakra).

In doing so, I didn't have to shut down the energy that was ready to burst inside of me, all I had to do was just tune it to a different station. And when I did this, the energy was still there with all its strength and vibrancy. Plus, I was still "getting a high" off of it, though it was no longer a sexual high. As far as my physical body, the erection that I felt getting started in the beginning of the session went limp when I looked at my female client more as though she was my six year-old daughter. I saw her more as being an expression of my fatherly love towards her. So I was able to continue through the rest of the session, all the time, envisioning that I was a dad giving the most wonderful massage to my young daughter that I loved very dearly.

And so, I finished the massage and then met my client in the reception area. She had a pleasant smile and thanked me for a wonderful massage. I accepted her thanks by saying, "You're welcome," and she left. Though I never saw her again, I will never forget how wonderful that experience was. We had chemistry, but the chemistry was focused on healing energy.

One last word to all-you-young-guns out there, and this is man to man: Any woman that you have sexual feelings about will pick it up in a heart beat. They will feel it, and even though they may not say anything about it, they will label you as a creepy weird guy that they don't want to have touch them ever again. So, when you feel that sexual energy, turn it around and focus your intent on using that energy for what it is intended to do, and that is provide safe healing touch to another human being, no matter if they are female, or even male.

[KneadingU]

Hey StephenCMT, I like all that you've said on this topic. I totally agree.