homophobia

[Foramenmagnus]

Now granted most homophobs are not gonna allow a man to massage them but this is an actual issue for me. The great shcool I am attending now, rejected me in the early 90's because I was a strait man.
One of my classmates wouldn't partner with me in basic swedish (the most superficial massage). He of course is there for "sports " massage but how do you help a client move past that ( and really i guess also making a women feel comfortable with energy bonding on a profesional basis)
But most superficially any advice on letten a dude know Hey man it's just a fricken massage?

[nolalmt]

The great shcool I am attending now, rejected me in the early 90's because I was a strait man.

I'm sorry, I can't get past this statement to answer your question. What does this mean? You're saying a school rejected you because you are straight? Seriously?

[palpable]

The clients who will not schedule with me based on gender are not my clients. There are plenty of clients out there who are "my" clients. Those are the ones to focus our energy on.

[cstbrian]

Now granted most homophobs are not gonna allow a man to massage them but this is an actual issue for me. The great shcool I am attending now, rejected me in the early 90's because I was a strait man.

Wow. That blows me away. What did they actually say to you?

One of my classmates wouldn't partner with me in basic swedish (the most superficial massage). He of course is there for "sports " massage but how do you help a client move past that ( and really i guess also making a women feel comfortable with energy bonding on a profesional basis)
But most superficially any advice on letten a dude know Hey man it's just a fricken massage?

From my perspective, in the 'real' world (not in school) I don't focus my time on trying to change guys minds. It's not worth my time. There are so many other people out there (male and female) that want a massage regardless of therapist gender; I'd rather focus on getting them into my practice.

I am having a hard time with the classroom issue. First, if this person is in massage school he must know (on some level) that this is non-sexual, therapeutic work and having a male classmate practice on him shouldn't matter.

Second, is he ok working on other men? Is it just about receiving work from another male therapist? I'm curious because if he is going to 'specialize' in sports massage, he'll probably have other men calling him for work.

Third, what kind of school is this? First they don't let you in because you are heterosexual? Then this happens. Was there anything said about this or was it perfectly ok that he didn't want to work with you? Is it regular practice in this program for people to refuse to work with someone else? How is it handled by the faculty?

Brian

[Foramenmagnus]

OK first of all, I didn't expect stuned responces and probibly could have worded the whole thing better. The fellow student in question IS a great guy just kinna "A tough guy" where touch usually was preformed with a clenched fist. The school is great and in the early 90's in the midwest there was a culture of "massage" meaning "adult massage". Our teacher was great and did nothing, very important at this stage of our learning (his). But that said, and i have no resentments or anything about this, I was wondering what the best way to remove sexual tension from a client might be? Actually as a man I'm sure the issue will come up some time in my professional carrier.

as a P.S to this same post I found out a friend of a friend who is a professional has to spend alot of time "screening" his messeges for people wonder just what kind of massage he offers.


Dern tough trying to be a man in a womans world

[JasonE]

Remember that the issues you will face are not about you personally. Some people won't intially be comfortable with male touch regardless of your intent. The more someone seems worried/skittish about having a male therapist, the more important it is for you to remain a calming presence.

It's kinda like dealing with a scared little kitty cat. You stay very calm and talk in a soothing voice until it settles down enough to let you touch it. Once it realizes your hands are soft and gentle and safe, it relaxes completely and really enjoys it.

If the scared kitty cat runs away without letting you touch it, that's okay. It'll eventually find someone else that suits it better.

One of our male therapists is a big guy. Though some people might find him intimidating at first, he has a great "teddy bear" vibe that people really respond to. Today he saw a client that avoided male therapists for years. She was a little nervous, but decided to trust us and give him a shot. Afterwards, she floated out to the reception desk and RAVED about how good he is! His gentle demeanor unarmed her, and she was able to really enjoy his skillful work. Now she plans to see him again!

[NaplesLMT]

I have found that recommendations from others to be the best way to get people to want a massage from you. Word of mouth advertising is the best. If you are in a spa setting, give the coworkers massages including nail techs, esthticians, especially the chatty ones, they will talk you up. First, the front desk staff, they can honestly recommend you then. In private practice enlist your clients by asking for and rewarding referrals. I think that many people can be swayed when they think everyone else approves.

[michiganMT]

it's all about intent. (or so i'm told) if you get it accross that you are a professional and that you provide ethical massage then any one looking for professional ethical massage will be all about it. unless there looking for something else... *raises eyebrow*

I figure keep up a good rep and make the right friends in the area and people will take you seriously... one would hope so at least.

[bassio]

I agree with Napleslmt, referrals are where it's at. You win people over with your professionalism and the quality of your work.

[holistichealer]

I am really glad I saw this post. I know that this is something I will see when I start out. (I have decided to go back to school after I finish my MBA degree) There is a local community college here that has a great certificate program and I will be ready to sit for the national exam. Again, this was a great thread that I think every guy needs to read.

[DRRX2009]

Wow...I go to school in NYC, and they emphasize that it is against the law to refuse anyone unless you specifically state your demographic.

But in school, you basically have no choice but to partner up with anyone who needs a partner. That guy in your class might be cool or whatever, but he's not "so great" if he can't just "man up" and work with a fellow student. You do have just cause to complain to your professor and/or the dean if he refuses to work with you based on your gender.

And he's in school for "sports massage" and won't work with a man? From what I've noticed, males seem to want sports massage more from other males because they may feel that a man's touch is deeper and stronger or whatever.

Hope you'll be able to rub a clue into him.

[kat]

After 15 years as an RMT I have always found that even though it may take a little longer for a male therapist to build a clientele... his clientele is extremely loyal.
It's like me fighting the stereo type that 5'2" and female can't give deep tissue... they all learn:)

[Foramenmagnus]

Well I started this thread over a year ago and was very pleased to re-read all that contributed. Needless to say I have grown as a therapist in the last year of school (crazy events but that is anouther story). Thank you all that wrote posts and I hope we have done some good here.

[tranquilspirit2006]

Heterophobia? I was talking to several gay guys I know recently and they all said they would only want to get a massage from a male. I wasn't offended (everyone has a preference) but I was curious. They all said that men would know a man's body better than a woman. Just as a female might prefer a female OB/GYN, they felt that only a man would know how to massage a man's body as they 'know'. I thought it was funny because *everyone* has muscles, lol. But discrimination can work both ways. However, that does mean more clients for the guys out there, so there's one good thing anyway.

[RelaxandRejuvenate]

Heterophobia? I was talking to several gay guys I know recently and they all said they would only want to get a massage from a male.

We see this a lot in our hotel business.

But discrimination can work both ways.

Not in current society...when a majority expresses a preference against a minority, it is discrimination. When a minority expresses a preference against a majority, it is a noble right. Jesse Jackson has been quoted as saying an African American can't be a racist, twisted logic that is supported by the media and a society that savages anyone who disagrees.

I have never understood the vehement gender preference of massage therapist. The only rationale I can find for so violent a stand against same gender MTs by men is that they still, somehow, deep down connect massage with sex and their sexual identity.